Although ‘This Is Not A Moustache’ largely concentrates upon hirsute appendages of the upper lip, we recognize facial hair of all types and stand in solidarity with our brethren. Thus, we feel compelled to feature the following article.

Once a year, the Great State of Nevada celebrates the anniversary of statehood with parades, fireworks, and a beard & moustache contest.  The majority of this revelry takes place in Carson City, the state capital.

Last year, your humble narrator accompanied the hirsute gentlemen of Virginia City to this event. These men are serious about what they do. We met at 8 AM in the Corner Bar, where shuttles were waiting to take us to Carson City. The bearded denizens of Virginia City have won the award of ‘Most Bearded Community’ in this contest for many years – in fact, the walls of the bar where we met are adorned with Beard & Moustache plaques and awards.

This event was a major turning point in my life. You see, I went along as their photographer, being clean-shaven at the time. Although I had long desired a moustache, my genetic makeup was not disposed to such activities. However, directly after this event I began sprinkling the upper lip area liberally with whisky and Miracle Grow. This solution seemed to have an effect, and although I am not by any stretch bearded, I now have a respectable moustache (see the ‘Behind The Moustache‘ page of this site for proof).

This is also a good time to introduce the Ancient and Honorable Organization of E Clampus Vitus, of which your humble narrator is a proud member. Our highly secretive organization, sometimes referred to as ‘ECV’ or ‘The Clampers,’ is a fraternal brotherhood which dates back to the mining days of the old West. The organization was founded to provide for the widows and orphans of deceased miners in the Comstock era. Today we continue our original purpose of caring for those in need, as well as erecting historical plaques at sites of note. In addition, members of E Clampus Vitus are proud supporters of facial hair. In Virginia City especially, Clampers make up a majority of the Weirded Beardos. Many of the individuals pictured in the following gallery are members of E Clampus Vitus, and proud we are of every one of them.

Perhaps we will see you at the next Nevada Day contest. Take a note from one with experience; the whiskey is more important than the Miracle Grow.